Your kids have moved out—now what? Transitioning from having your kids at home to being empty nesters can be emotional, challenging, and freeing as a couple. Whether you’re excited about extra free time or grieving the change, this transition can be overwhelming. One key area that may need more attention is your finances.
The financial changes of an empty nest can seem both freeing and daunting. We’re here to ease your worries with this guide!
Always strive to be on the same page with your spouse.
Reorganize your budget to adjust for extra income.
Make increased retirement contributions a top priority.
Plan for fun activities to do together, such as trips or local events.
Before you make any changes to your budget on how you’re going to change your strategy, it’s essential that you and your spouse are on the same page. The transition to becoming empty nesters will impact you both in different ways, and it’s important that you act as a team and face this new chapter together. If you’re deciding on a financial goal, make sure you both agree on the decision and are willing to compromise.
“One thing that is important is reprioritizing priorities,” said Angela Utley, who is a current empty nester and works as a Direct Lending Underwriter at Leaders Credit Union. “Make yourself the priority again now that your children are out of the house. Find out now how to prioritize yourself.”
It’s important that you hear each other out and listen well. You both are likely coming into this new season with different expectations of how you’ve envisioned it to be, so be sure to share those with each other to see how you’re similar or different, and use those expectations to put together your financial goals.
Now that you are no longer financially responsible for your children, you’ll have a lot more wiggle room in your budget. This impact might be even greater if you’re accustomed to having multiple children in your home and to paying higher grocery, medical, school, or insurance expenses. That means it’s time for you to do a major check-in to look at your budget and make some updates.
Here are some areas of your budget that could likely decrease:
Here are some areas in your budget that might increase:
Each will depend on you and your spouse’s financial goals and decisions, but it’s good to keep in mind that as you see more room in your budget, you allocate those dollars intentionally to make sure they’re working to your advantage.
For Angela, when their household went from a family of 5 to a family of 2 with only herself and her husband, they had to ask themselves: How are we going to decide how to re-allocate money? She said, “Just because we're empty nesters doesn't mean you have a midlife crisis and go get that Mustang that you wanted 20 years ago that you couldn't get. Just be sure to be on the same page about how to redirect the expenses and money you have."
Whether you became empty nesters in your 40s or 60s, prioritizing retirement is essential to your future financial well-being. Now that you have an increase in your cash-flow without having to worry about your kids, you can put that extra money to use towards contributing to your retirement. It’s easy to make excuses for why you shouldn’t or to focus on other goals, but this isn’t something you should set aside, especially at this point in your life.
"In today's world, companies will match your contributions, so that is a great way to plan ahead, which is what I did early in life," said Cindy Norman, Business Development Coordinator at Leaders Credit Union and current empty nester.
If you have questions about your retirement plan, don’t hesitate to reach out to one of our Investment Champions.
Your kids leaving the house not only affects your relationship with them, it also changes your relationship with your spouse. Doing fun activities together is important for reconnecting with your spouse. After all, this is likely your first time deciding your own schedule without your kids in a very long time, so it’s up to you both to decide what you’re going to do with your extra time and money.
"Don't not splurge. Treat yourself! Things like weekend trips... you can take those easier without worrying about where the kids are going to go, or who's going to take them to school Monday morning,” said Angela.
Not having your kids at home can make your home feel quiet and leave you unsure about what to do with your free time. Whether you’re getting close to retirement or it’s several years away, now is the time for you and your spouse to discover fun things to do together. Dreaming of that trip to go on an Alaskan cruise? Wanting to do that European trip? Whatever has been on your mind until this moment, now has the chance to come to fruition as you and your spouse prioritize financial goals. Some are essential for your well-being, but there’s nothing wrong with including some fun ones as well!
"When we became empty nesters when our youngest son went to college, we took more trips to see our other son in Knoxville to see our grandbaby or visit our daughter in Virginia,” said Angela. “We did take more spontaneous trips, and we can do more now, for sure!"
Mark a night on your calendar to discuss fun options for you to do—whether it’s a vacation, an organization you’d like to get involved in, or ways you want to serve your local community. Fun activities don’t have to be exclusive to extravagant trips; they can also be ways you choose to get plugged in with your community, a local nonprofit you want to serve at, or a new hobby you’d like to pursue together.
Up until this point, your children have been financially dependent on you for their needs and wants. Now, the tables have turned, and they’ve gained more financial independence and responsibility. But what happens if your child needs your financial assistance in the future? Maybe your child already does—such as a transition with a car payment, you’ve given them money for their wedding, or they had an emergency that they needed help covering. However, as your child gains more financial stability, you shouldn’t have to worry about any major intervention for financial assistance.
But the question still remains…what should your financial assistance look like for your grown children?
Here’s the thing: it’s up to you. There will be times when your family needs your help, and maybe you or your spouse has been in that predicament before, asking a trusted person for help. Regardless of the situation, it’s important that you and your spouse are on the same page about what areas you are comfortable helping your children. The following are financial areas you may decide to help (or not) your grown children.
Be in agreement on what you want to help with, not help with, and determine which things you’d like to give as a gift to your child. Whatever you communicate to your spouse, be sure to communicate your decisions to your grown children as well. That way, they know what to expect, and they can learn to be independent in their financial decision-making.
An essential thing to remember is to never jeopardize your financial security on a major financial decision for your child. As a parent, you’d likely go through major hoops to help your child succeed and be well. However, it’s important that when you are helping your child, you are also making wise financial decisions. You don’t want to be so caught up in the emotions of a financial choice that you jeopardize your financial security by depleting all your savings or emergency fund. Remember, you can’t help your kids if you can’t help yourself. If your child has major financial debts or crippling debt, it’s important that you don’t also get swept away by that, so you’re not all drowning in debt or things you can’t pay back.
If you find yourself in this kind of situation, there is definitely help. Sign up for a free financial counseling appointment to discuss ways you can make wiser decisions to ensure you are taking care of your financial health well.
As your kids move out, you might realize how spacious your house is without them. For some couples, their children moving out signals it's time to downsize their home. This could be for a variety of reasons, such as lowering their monthly mortgage payment, wanting something easier to manage and clean, or accessing their home’s equity.
However, downsizing isn’t the right move for everyone, depending on the size of your home and your current financial situation. Be careful not to rush into downsizing as an impulsive move just because you feel like making a change right away. Moving is a significant financial choice, so be sure you’re ready to make it before you do.
As life changes, your plans should too. Taking time to create and review key documents can help ensure everything reflects your desires and makes things easier for your family down the road.
Here a few important items you might want to consider establishing or revisiting during this transition:
Make sure the people listed on your accounts—like retirement plans, life insurance, and bank accounts—are up to date and reflect your current wishes.
A will outlines how you’d like your assets handled and who will carry out your wishes after you're gone. Reviewing your will periodically helps ensure everything is still accurate.
Consider who you trust to access your medical information or make healthcare decisions if you’re unable to do so for yourself. This may include HIPAA authorization and/or setting up a medical power of attorney.
You may also want to consider designating someone to handle financial matters on your behalf if needed in the future. For example, a financial power of attorney is something you might look into to help ensure bills, accounts, and other responsibilities are managed smoothly if the need arises.
"Legal documents are very important to keep updated in the event of unexpected events — or 'life happens' moments, as I call them," said Cindy Norman. "You should always be prepared."
Life changes can impact your insurance needs. As you enter this new stage, it’s a good time to review your current coverage and explore options that support your future. Take time to review various insurance options and consider if they fit your needs: life, health, home or renters, auto, long-term care, disability, umbrella, etc.
"Utilize extra funds to reduce your insurance coverage if necessary," said Angela. "When we first had kids, we had a higher insurance policy, but now it's less."
Q: How can my spouse and I manage finances together as empty nesters?
A: Start by having an open conversation about your individual financial expectations for this new season. Agree on shared goals, such as retirement contributions, travel, or paying off debt, and revisit your budget together. Being aligned on priorities and spending habits will help you avoid conflict and make the most of your increased financial flexibility.
Q: What should empty nesters prioritize in their budget?
A: Empty nesters should focus on reallocating their budget intentionally, using the extra income from reduced household expenses to prioritize retirement contributions, build savings, and plan for future goals. At the same time, it’s important to make room for experiences and lifestyle upgrades you’ve been putting off, while staying aligned with your spouse and making thoughtful, not impulsive, financial decisions.
Q: How should empty nesters handle financial requests from grown children?
A: Set clear boundaries with your spouse before any situation arises. Decide together which scenarios you are willing to help with, such as emergencies or major life events like a wedding, and whether that help would be a gift or a loan. The most important rule: never deplete your own savings or emergency fund to assist someone else. Protecting your financial security comes first.
Q: Is it okay for empty nesters to spend money on travel and fun activities?
A: Yes — as long as it fits within your budget. Empty nesting is the perfect time to enjoy the financial flexibility you’ve earned. Budget intentionally for travel, hobbies, or experiences you’ve put off while raising kids. The key is to treat travel and fun spending as a planned budget category, not an impulse, so it doesn’t interfere with retirement savings or other financial goals.
Do you feel ready to make financial changes as an empty nester? Whether you feel ready for this new chapter or not, you’re in the right place. We’re happy to help you with your financial needs.
For a deep dive into your goals, sign up for our free financial counseling appointment or access our free financial wellness tools to help you stay on track.
To learn tips for your budget, check out our free Smart Budgeting Toolkit or read our blog, “What’s the Best Budgeting Method? Comparing Zero-Based, 50/30/20, and Paycheck-to-Paycheck Budgets.”
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