Talking About Money: How to Establish Financial Transparency with a Partner

Do you and your spouse have open conversations about money? While not everyone likes to have the “money talk,” it’s crucial for the well-being of your relationship to be transparent about your financial situation. Everyone’s story with money is different – we all come from various backgrounds that shape our perception of how we handle our finances. These past influences can often determine our future behavior with money, such as how we should manage, evaluate, and use our money.

 

Being in a relationship can reveal financial habits we may not even realize we have. When you and your spouse are conversing about your money, how you handle it will play a key role in promoting or deteriorating your financial health. In this blog, we want to give you tips on navigating communicating with your spouse and thriving in your financial journey as a couple. 

 

Why is Financial Transparency Important in a Relationship?

One of the best ways to build intimacy in a relationship is to be honest and transparent. When you’re not afraid to be open, you allow yourself to be fully known. This kind of transparency can be intimidating at first, but with practice and intentionality, it can enrich your marriage so much more. While transparency is important for emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual intimacy, it is crucial for your financial security as well.

Financial transparency is essential for every choice you make with your money if you are in a committed relationship. When you’re single, you have sole control over how you want to spend, save, and invest your money. Being in a relationship transforms this mentality because you now make decisions together and work as a team. The critical thing to remember is that you are on the same team.

This mindset can be difficult for couples of all ages who’ve been together for a few years or even decades. Despite the challenges of transparency, it is healthy to work through them and be willing to hear each other’s opinions. Growing the ability to be honest with your spouse and unveil the reality of your finances can help strengthen your relationship and financial stability.

What Are Common Financial Topics Couples Should Discuss?

The most important step to take in financial transparency with your spouse is simply to start the conversation about money. Since not talking about it can lead to frustration, disappointment, and poor financial decisions, your openness is already a great place to begin building the foundation of trust.

Where do you begin the conversation? Here are some financial topics you can discuss together.

1. Savings Goals

Everyone dreams of an ideal vacation spot, a new upgrade to their living space, or a new home. You and your spouse probably have some of these goals for your future, so it’s essential that you know what they are and have a plan for how you need to prepare for them financially. Setting savings goals together is a great way to stay united by realizing how you want to prepare for these exciting milestones in your future.

2. Debts

Discussing debt with your spouse can be a sensitive conversation, but it doesn’t have to be. Whether both of you have debt or only one of you does, you need to be sure that you see any debts you have as both of your responsibilities. For example, you might have credit card debt, and your spouse is still paying off student loans. Instead of saying “your debt,” it’s time to say “our debt.” If you have multiple debts, debt consolidation might be the right decision to make your payments more manageable.

3. Credit

Along with your debts, it’s important to look at your credit scores. Depending on your history with debts and payments, you and your spouse might have varying credit scores. It’s important to discuss what credit card works best for you and how to improve your credit score if it isn’t in the range you want it to be. Being candid with your credit and crafting a game plan for improvement can help your financial situation and build your borrowing credibility.

4. Investing

How do you both want to grow your wealth? Investing provides many opportunities for your finances to flourish, and there are a lot of different avenues you can take to get there. Have you and your spouse consider your risk tolerances and what investment options work best for your financial goals.

5. Retirement

Whether retirement is close or a long way away, think about how you want your retirement to be. Are there certain hobbies you’d like to invest in or places you’d like to live? Having a general idea can help you know how to prepare for that future season of your lives financially.

6. Giving

As you grow financially, you have the ability to be generous with your finances. Choose a nonprofit or service project that you are passionate about, such as your church, local soup kitchen, or homeless shelter. Practicing the act of giving to others can help you be more mindful of putting other needs before your own and give you the opportunity to serve together as a couple by being intentional with your time and resources.

7. Build a Budget

Once you’ve discussed these financial topics, it’s time to turn these ideas into actions. Build a budget together or revise the one you already have based on your shared financial goals. There may be areas where you need to spend less and give more or be intentional with saving and investing. Whatever these areas are, a budget can help guide you to be organized in managing your money and staying on track with your financial wellness.

How Can Partners Set Shared Financial Goals?

After discussing how you’ll build your budget, it is important to realize how you’ll reach these goals practically and as a team. Keep these things in mind as you begin to make these financial decisions together for a more seamless experience.

Always Include Your Spouse

Your spouse is always a part of the equation when making financial decisions. Even if you’re purchasing gifts to surprise each other, agree on a budget before buying to be on the same page.

Pursue Goals You Agree On

While some goals are necessary, like emergency funds or paying off debt, it’s important that you and your spouse agree on how you want these goals reached. It might mean you have to make some sacrifices for each other, but knowing you’re on the same team and sticking with the plan you both agree on can help build a stronger framework for how you make decisions in the future.

Be Willing to Compromise

Making financial decisions can be tricky and stressful at times, so it’s important to put your spouse first and keep yourself in check when handling finances. Often, we can be tempted to be selfish with our money because it’s something we feel we can control. However, compromising and working together on your financial plan by having a selfless attitude can help allow clearer communication and expectations during this process.

How Can Couples Handle Financial Disagreements Constructively?

Everyone has disagreements from time to time. Financial disagreements are no exception, and like any disagreement, they can escalate quickly if not diffused in the right way. One of the best ways to prevent financial conflicts is to stop them before they happen. When facing a financial conversation that might result in disagreement, keep these things in mind.

Slow down and listen to your spouse. Don’t let financial pressures put pressure on your relationship. While financial stress can be overwhelming, it’s crucial that you slow down and hear your spouse’s reasons for why they want to make a financial choice. Being open-minded and having a listening ear can help grow patience and understanding with each other.

Seek professional financial help when you have unanswered questions or want an outside perspective on your financial plan. Having fresh eyes when looking at your budget and goals can help you see any holes you might have in your financial plan.

Build Your Financial Security with Leaders Credit Union

Financial transparency with your spouse takes time and practice, but you’re not on this journey alone. Leaders Credit Union is happy to help you in your financial journey. We have a team of Certified Financial Counselors who can help you and your spouse navigate questions about your money and how to develop your financial plan. Also, check out our financial wellness resources and free credit card comparison guide.

Leaders is federally insured by the NCUA.